The daily adventures and travails of one neurotic, klutzy, hungry, cynical college girl. Tune in for prizes! (offer void where prohibited. See office for details. Not responsible for lost articles.)
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Monday, April 03, 2006
Fuck.
I feel it coming.
Like a giant storm cloud in the brain. I'm going to be sick.
I've been stocking up on vitamin C and trying to relax, but the impending doom of a flu is pushing in and I'm exhausted. I hate being sick. I hate being sick and working. I hate being sick, working, and trying to act like nothing is wrong. When a person is sick, they should be exempt from drama. They should be tucked into a cool bed, with hot soup and soft blankets. They should be kept in a quiet environment and soothingly assured that things will pass and brighter days should come.
At least the rain is here. Nothing is so bad when it's raining. Or rather, bad things seems less so in the rain. If things were shitty and it were bright sunshine in my eye, I'd get pissed and smash something in the house.
At some point during every day, I get fed up and think "I want to walk away. I will just get up and move far from here, until I feel that I can handle this. Then and only then will I return, and fuck all who try to stop me."
Why say you want to listen, when really you have no interest at all? Why push me when I'm standing just fine? Why yell and cry just to hear your own voice? Why pretend that everything's fine when I've already pointed out the chinks? It's getting hard to juggle all the issues here.
I'm having a hard time and even though I know the answer, my head just won't let it go. I can't really do or say anything that won't end up shooting me in the foot, but I'm not listening to my own good advice and I feel like the rabid dog is "Old Yeller." Someone is going to have to shoot me in the head, cause i'm too far gone for logic and caring.
11:44 AM
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