The daily adventures and travails of one neurotic, klutzy, hungry, cynical college girl. Tune in for prizes! (offer void where prohibited. See office for details. Not responsible for lost articles.)
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Tuesday, October 11, 2005
1. Have you ever been drunk?
*CHORTLES*
2. How old were you the first time you got drunk?
Hmm, I think 20. Late bloomer. Drank before that, but never enough to be drunk.
3. Have you ever gotten/given digits while intoxicated?
If I did, I don't remember. OH! I've given fake numbers. Does that count?
4. Have you ever 'drunk dialed'?
Only to ask "Why aren't you here, getting drunk, biznatch?"
5. Have you ever been drunk in front of family members?
Yes, but they were drunk, too.
6. Have you ever had to cover up the fact that you were drunk?
Child, please.
7. Have you ever been arrested for any alcohol related crime?
*sad emoticon* Regretfully, no. It's highlighted on my to-do list.
8. Have you ever hooked-up with someone while drunk?
Yeah, but being sober wouldn't have changed the situation.
9. Ever forgot their name?
Same answer as above.
10. When was the last time you were drunk?
I had hoped last night's bash. So, 3 nights ago.
11. Have you ever been on a drunken binge?
Define binge. I think what I did would be titled "Tipsy Leave."
12. Do you need alcohol to have a good time?
Need? No, darling. Alcohol is just a primer. I need ME to have a good time.
13. What kind of alcohol gets you the most intoxicated?
The fermented variety.
14. Favorite liquor: Vodka. Or Hypnotiq.
15. Favorite beer: Strawberry Blonde or Newcastle.
16. Have you ever woken up after a night of drinking and found out that you are STILL drunk?
*The best part of waking up....* (sung like the Folger's jingle)
17. Have you ever swam drunk?
I was in a pool, but I didn't swim. I heard people died that way.
18. What kind of a drunk are you?
Like the kind of sex you have or the type of food you eat, the day, mood, and/or leading circumstances all factor into what blank you are at something. Typically, I'd say I'm either a giggly over-sharer or a snarling beast.
19. Is alcohol like "truth serum" to you?
No way. I'll lie my pants off when drunk. Literally.
20. Favorite drinking partner: The shot glass?
21. Favorite bar: I've yet to discover my personal Coyote Ugly.
22. Have you ever completely blacked out?
Due to drink? No.
23. Have you ever puked from drinking?
Someday, when you're a stronger individual, I'll relate the tragedy of "The Night I Soaked in Gin." It is a harrowing tale of intrigue, gore, and ultimately, the untimely demise of any hope of kinship between Beefeaters and I. And while I tried hours on end, on the floor of my new boyfriend's bathroom, (why did I continue dating a man with SUCH A FILTHY TOILET?!?!?!) to expel the poison du Satan from my body, it would not.
Short answer- no.
24. Have you ever had the 'crying drunks'?
I've got a case of the 'crying drunks' right now.
25. Can you still do physical activity while intoxicated?
*wiggles eyebrows* You BET I can.
26. Have you ever gotten into a drunken fight?
Physical brawl? No. Emotional decapitating? Often.
27. Who is the most annoying drunk that you know?
Imagine a large black box here for my answer. I cannot reveal.
28. Who is the most flirtatious drunk?
Me? Or, from the reactions we give her, Courtney.
29. Do you have a drunken nickname?
My nickname is drunk? Given to me while I was drunk? While the nicknamer was drunk? The nickname refers to my drunken state? This question is odd.
30. Have you received a 'booty call'?
Does this have to do with drinking? Well, in any scenario, yes.
31. Funniest drunken scene in a movie: Can I site "drunk girl" from SNL's Weekend Update, instead of a movie? I could do her impressions always.
32. Favorite song(s) about drinking:
We both lie silently still
in the dead of the night
Although we both lie close together
We feel miles apart inside
Was it something I said or something I did
Did the words not come out right
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
But I guess that's why they say
Chorus:
Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn
Yeah it does
I listen to our favorite song
playing on the radio
Hear the DJ say loves a game of easy come and
easy go
But I wonder does he know
Has he ever felt like this
And I know that you'd be here somehow
If I could have let you know somehow
I guess
Chorus
Though it's been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
but the scar, that scar remains
Solo
I know I could have saved a love that night
If I'd known what to say
Instead of makin' love
We both made our separate ways
But now I hear you found somebody new
and that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife
I guess
Chorus
33. Have you ever woke up next to someone you didn't know?
I wonder if I ever really knew the people I woke up next to... And no, I don't bed strangers.
34. Have you ever been hit on by someone way older than you?
It's been a great annoyance in my life, actually.
35. What's the worst 'buzz kill'?
Pregnancy.
36. Have you ever dated a bartender or bouncer or cocktail waitress?
No. I'm lame.
37. Do you ever say to yourself, "Dang, I need a drink"?
Well, I don't say "dang" so much as "FUCK"
38. Do strangers ever buy you drinks?
No, I don't enjoy the roofie aftertaste. Oh, jeez, wait, yes, I've taken drinks from strangers. I just watched the bartender like a hawk.
39. Have you ever drank too much on a date?
Not on a first date. Second date holds no rules.
40. Is there anything that you refuse to drink?
Tequila straight up. Urine. Phlegm. Liquid fat. I have to go vomit now. Oh! Vomit, either.
41. Have you ever been drunk on a plane?
I haven't been on a plane since turning 21. (said coyly.)
42. Have you ever gotten drunk during the day?
What do you consider me? An amateur?
43. Have you ever had to run from the cops and leave the beer behind?
I don't mind leaving the beer. I wouldn't run from cops. They can be hot.
44. What's your favorite drinking game?
I Never. Or Take a Shot with a camp movie.
45. Have you ever injured yourself while drunk?
Same as 8.
46. What's the most destructive thing that has happened while you were drunk?
I said I love you.
47. Ever been drunk at a concert?
I don't go to concerts.
48. Is this survey getting too long?
Ask me yesterday.
49. Are you ready for the last question?
Are you the personification of an inadequate blow job?
50. Why do you drink?
Cause your mother's ugly.
12:04 PM
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