The daily adventures and travails of one neurotic, klutzy, hungry, cynical college girl. Tune in for prizes! (offer void where prohibited. See office for details. Not responsible for lost articles.)
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Sunday, December 01, 2002
Long time no see, eh? Yea, well everyone knows that once I head home to LA, I enter a time warp. Not only does my house have antiquated technology, (a CD player was the last new development) but also, I don't get out. I sit at home with my family and wonder why I was born. It's not as bad as it sounds. But I do wonder what my purpose is, when they don't need me but they act like they do. They don't forbid me from going out, like they used to do, but I don't really feel like going out anymore. Something about that house still stifles me. My dad lives downstairs, in front of the TV, and my mother spends her days in the kitchen, cooking and cleaning. My brother suffers my old childhood, not being let out often enough. I end up sleeping through the weekends I travel down to visit them. They've begun to worry about my "tiredness". The truth is, I'm not sure how to deal with them. I just bless the circumstances that brought me away to San Diego. I can't imagine if I had stayed home. I would have died, one way or another. I tell my mom that once I graduate and have a decent job, I'll take care of James. I want to, I really do. But then I realize, I'll never have my own life. My parents would have every excuse to interfere with my life, and I'd get little done with my brother living with me anyway. But it's unfair for James to grow up like I did. My parents are even older and set in their ways. Once I was grateful for a sibling. It meant that even if I screwed up, my parents had another chance. I thought my burdens would be lighter. And although I love James, I realize that he's more luggage on my shoulders. Wow, these entries get more and more heavy.
Here's something lighter: (songs in my head this morning)
"Slide" Goo Goo Dolls
"Hands Clean" Alanis Morrisette
"I'm Still Here" Johnny Rzeznik
"Never" The Color Green
"Pretty Girl" Sugarcult
"I'm Afraid of Americans" David Bowie, Trent Reznor
"Like I Love You" Justin Timberlake
"Got to Be Real" Cheryl Lynn
"London Calling" The Clash
and yes, Daniel Bedingfield's "Gotta Get Through This" streams through all these songs. My roomies know what I'm talking about. I have a lot of theories. In time you'll hear about all of them, including my suspicions about Canada.
1:59 PM
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