The daily adventures and travails of one neurotic, klutzy, hungry, cynical college girl. Tune in for prizes! (offer void where prohibited. See office for details. Not responsible for lost articles.)
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Friday, December 13, 2002
It makes me sick how simple I am sometimes. I talked to someone today about LA shallowness, and I think I'm not immune to it. I always try to be open and perceptive. I didn't even realize how hard my boss is taking it right now. It turns out that he's leaving because his partner, Tom, has a manipulative ex-wife who moved to Oregon with their kids and she's filing for sole custody. Her reasoning? Tom and Ken (my boss) are not fit influences to have her children exposed to, since they lead "an immoral lifestyle." Those are EXACTLY the kind of people that make me feel ill. When I heard that, I spluttered and shook with anger. We may be shallow, but Californians are at least accepting of people, no matter their "lifestyle." The worst part is, since Oregon isn't as
"progressive" as California, she might actually find a way to deny her kids their father. If that happened to me or any one I loved... I tremble to think how I might fuck shit up. I'm sorry I've ever complained about my job. Yea, it's boring and they don't treat me as nicely as I would like. But people are busy and have their own issues, too. I'm such a selfish, immature kid. I may not like it here, but that's no reason to bitch about the people.
Don't you hate it when you're as dramatic as I am about everyday life? I always make a big fuss about the little things. It seems that when the big events come around, I've either lost my zest or my zest doesn't compare to my normal enthusiasm. Goes for negative events, too. I was hugging the porcelain god this morning, and I realized I couldn't call in sick to work. First, no phone, and the number is in my dead battery's memory. Second, I've been "sick" three times before and I don't know if they think I'm a flake. I actually had duties today. So, I crawled out of bed, wearing my new tie (thanks, gracie) to give me some pep. If anyone is near the refridgerator, could you move the magnet to "nauseous and fevered" for me? Thanks...
Some soul searching on the bus: I may do alot of talking (I know you all notice. You point it out to me often enough.) but I think i see the reason why. It's like my friend Grace says. I don't want to be "cookie cutter" Asian. I read in the LA Times that the Asian minority is the last race group to be accepted in America. We're still foreigners to everyone else. I hate dealing with stereotypes. I hate small minds. So, in effort to show I'm different and unique, I go all out. I try my best to jar new people with my first impression. I know that in time people will see who I am. But not all people are patient or interested enough for that. It's easier to just bombard them at the beginning. I want to be memorable, you know? (Linda and I discussed the fear we have of being forgotten. Don't you hate it when people struggle to place your name and face? It's awful.) But it makes me anxious that I've used all my material already, and soon, I won't be as funny anymore. That's crazy, right?
Oh and Kellie from work gave me a cool job to look for when I graduate! That is, after design school and grad school, and maybe some time off for traveling... (says the dreamer with no money.) I could be a clothes buyer for a tv show or a movie set. How cool would that be? I love shopping, I could work in the media, and I get hella paid. Screw college. I'm gonna be a professional dresser.
10:10 AM
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