The daily adventures and travails of one neurotic, klutzy, hungry, cynical college girl. Tune in for prizes! (offer void where prohibited. See office for details. Not responsible for lost articles.)
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Tuesday, November 26, 2002
So, I thought I was done for the night. But I'm not. Here's the news. Courtney left me a message. Her stepfather is dying. I don't know how to feel. She's my best friend. I wish I could call her and talk to her about this. I'm sure what I'm feeling is crumbs to what she's dealing with. My phone is dead and also, I'm so bad at talking through traumatic events. God, all the times we spoke about Howard. He was the bane of her existance. A stranger in her house, taking her mom's money, ordering her around, being an all around creep. And now its different. He's dying. And it makes all the difference, doesn't it? When you think a person is near death, suddenly you forgive them their faults. What's the point of being angry? They'll be gone. But you still feel hollow inside. And that makes you feel terrible. I have to call. Of course I do. I know how she feels. Watching my own father almost deal with death was hard enough. I didn't talk to anyone about that. I stewed in my own guilt. I felt like crap. I don't want her to be in that position. I feel weird about posting this. But it's part of my life. *shrug* I thought my journal was gonna be funny one-liners. It's kind of ironic, isn't it?
9:25 PM
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